Health, Mental health

First step to health

 

Hi to anyone that finds this. If you do, you are probably in the same situation as me and it really sucks. I’m an eighteen year old that was diagnosed with depression when I was fifteen. At the time it wasn’t that serious, at least from what I remember it wasn’t, but now… Things have definitely got worse.

I’ve planned (but never attempted) suicide, cut myself with razors and scissors, bitten myself and had days where I physically couldn’t get out of bed. I’m so sick of it.

Last week I reached a crisis point and decided something had to change; I’ve not only been hurting myself but the people that care about me as well. Now I am in the extremely fortunate position of having an amazingly supportive family and wonderful friends but I don’t want to be completely reliant on them because I can’t be left on my own. I’ve always been an independent kid and I love having space and time to myself (Let’s clarify- I do enjoy socializing but even as a baby I liked to do it on my terms. In that sense I am sort of like a cat, but I digress) So not being trusted to be on my own really hurts.

So that’s pretty much my story. I’m hoping to document my attempt at doing everything I can to get better and finally be happy again to help keep myself motivated.

Thanks for reading x

Lucy x

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